Hearing something repeated usually grabs my attention, though it takes a few times to register what is actually happening. The first time I hear it I find it interesting. The second time I hear it I find it oddly familiar and slightly coincidental. The third time I hear it I stop and pause, demonstrated most often by a half-surrendered, haltingly frustrated, hands to the sky gesture, accompanied with an exasperated sigh of, Ok, ok, I get it! And I do one of three things: turn around and go back, move forward, or just stand still.

Yes, they all are different.

The last several days, if not week, I’ve been hearing the same things over and over again: “Trust the process,” and “More will be revealed.” It’s uncanny, the number of outreach calls I’ve made where one of these phrases has appeared either actually spoken in the middle of the conversation or sprinkled about in context.  It’s almost like now I expect it, floating about in some fairy like fashion.

But what, pray tell, do these concepts mean?

The new program I started in April is all about receiving. Not being my normal M.O., (and it is an understatement to say), this feels wildly uncomfortable. This program is about receiving abundance and prosperity, but in a way that does not dictate cash and prizes or any kind of statistical figure with which I can measure its tally. It is figurative, like a return of self after a long stint in layaway. To make matters worse, I was also reminded that another go-to saying “Progress not perfection” was actually “Spiritual progress not spiritual perfection”–the addition of the word “spiritual” making it even more conceptual and unwieldy.

Ugh.

This idea about trusting the process and letting it carry me along for the ride is one I can lend out to others but am not really comfortable embracing for myself. How am I supposed to float down the river without knowing if there is a torrential current brewing around the corner or a lurking and unforeseen cliff with a 50 foot sheer drop?

“You don’t,” says another program member. “More will be revealed.”

“More will be revealed” is about as helpful as “Trust the process” with some sort of hope strewn about inside it. It’s like trusting the process is the first step and more will be revealed keeps the line moving. Like the ones at Disneyland–a friend of mine explained to me once that Disneyland lines were designed to be such an engaging experience you would stay enraptured in line until you finally made it to the front an hour and a half later.

So it seems they go hand in hand.

My resistance (see previous post Realities of Resistance) loves to battle with semantics by pointing out specifics and then trying to tie them to what is not true or pull it apart. It is like my inner critic is the height attendant asking if I’m tall enough to ride this ride.

The point is I don’t like either slogan. They make me feel uncomfortable. But the more and more I hear them, the more I’m guided through them. The more and more turns and twists and corners I round, I see how I am engaged…I am held…I am in motion.

This program is about receiving. My sponsor says to me, “We receive to the degree we are willing to receive.” Ugh. Another platitude. But it brings me to question: Am I willing to trust the process enough to let go of all my doubts, fears, worries, and expectations? Am I willing to trust the process to receive everything just as it is slated in divine order to come?  Am I willing to trust the discomfort, the impatience, the frustration, the guilt, the hurt, and the resentment that wafts through me along with tastes of what’s ahead?

If so, I can stay in the awareness that more will be revealed because it is happening constantly. That phrase alone tells me that even in this moment when I feel stuck and desperate and strange, each phone call, every outreach, another meeting leads me into the reveal.

I just have to remember I’m not the one in charge of pulling the curtain.

Remember the Wizard of Oz? No one wanted that great reveal, to find out their wizard was a short, portly guy pulling levers behind a curtain. It was a grave disappointment for all, yet in that moment everyone became right sized, and eventually it led them home.

So I trust the process, wait for more will be revealed, and when it does, I trust again.

“To persevere, trusting in what hopes he has, is courage in a man.”
—Euripides